In Defense of the iPhone 4

Cracked screens.  Hard to predict crazy antenna design/ human interface signal problem.  Barely usable videoconferencing.  Oh, wait, I’m supposed to be defending it.  Defending that beautifully industrial, quirky and delicate shiny slab of glass.  That highly focused and seemingly infinite portal into communication.  I love how clear the screen is, how slim and sleek it feels in my hands. Modern, machined with precision and care.  An alluring victim of it’s own striking utility.  It mesmerizes me with it’s form, yet I know it’s only a matter of time before my slightly sweaty fingers slip and it tumbles in slow motion from my fumbling hands.  Despite the fear that makes me overgrip it’s steel edges, I marvel at it.  It can tell me anything.  I have access to so much information in a near-perfect form (aside from the almost deal-breaking and glaringly obvious oversights – I can’t videoconference anywhere except my house and effing Starbucks?  Holy crap, I’ve been wanting to videoconference on a mobile device for over a decade since I had my apple Newton!  Now it seems almost stupid idea!  Why can’t I videoconference with an iMac and why isn’t there already a Skype program?  That might start to make it useful!  I can’t even send video to an iPhone 3GS!  Are you kidding me?!  Bush league tech rollout, Steve.  Oh, wait .  . . kidding!.   . Right, I was kidding!   Seriously, those Apple videos almost made me cry.  And bringing in the deaf “I love you” at the end?  Brilliant, Mr. Jobs.  Simply Brilliant!).  The smooth, glossy glass sides absolutely terrify me.  I cradle it gently but firmly so I don’t slip and drop it, fearing that I’ll have to watch that gorgeous information portal smash, with horrific, wallet plundering, lightning bolt cracks flickering up from the pavement across that beautiful and attention-sucking Retina Display.  Destroying it forever (or until tomorrow when I blow an extra $20 for overnight shipping on a replacement screen.  Crap!  I had 8 million other things to do besides Googling “how to replace an iPhone 4 screen” and setting up my temporary amateur electronics repair shop on my messy-assed desk!).

I just checked, my bumpers won’t be here for 4 more, anxiety-provoking days.   Hrmmm. .

Right now, I usually hold  my iPhone 4 with my left thumb firmly 1/2 way down the left side, and 3 firm but deft fingers spread evenly along the right side.  Holding it this way, partly because of my terror and partly because of the reception problems, I find that I’m paying more attention to it.  The delicate yet purposeful way that my fingertips grasp the device leads me to be more conscious of my interactions with it.  Unfortunately I also almost feel like I should stick my pinky out when I’m holding it to my ear, like when pretentiously sipping tea.

I must say however, that despite the flaws, the iPhone 4 is a gloriously cool and well designed piece of genius.  Between the recharged iOS 4, the drool-inducing facade, and specifications of the device itself, it is one of the most useful pieces of communication hardware ever made.  Strong work guys.  Now get FaceTime over 3G and on iChat and Skype before I change my mind!

When are those bumpers coming in again?   I preordered an awesome bamboo case made in Oregon, but that will be a month or more and I can’t wait that long!

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